Ironically as I searched for an image to upload for this blog I came across this comic. And as a side note, be careful what you type into a search engine - I would not have guessed fat people exercising would include fat, naked people exercising. Yikes!
This isn't some blog about taking up an exercising or weight loss challenge. If I want to loose weight, I will just go on the Philippines Granola Bar diet again. No, this is about a challenge that is probably as abused and neglected as regular exercise, but one that is even more life giving. I resonate with the cartoon in that it says 1 hour of exercise or 24 hours of death. I truly feel like I have been experiencing a death of sorts spiritually. The more I get refilled and refreshed, the emptier I realize I was. The challenge was to read the Bible regularly, specifically the Gospels. It was recently brought up to our staff. Now I am sure most people would think you would not have to challenge career ministry people with regular Bible reading, but in my case at least, it was a much needed challenge. I had not made that a regular part of my routine for a very long time. It is so easy to say, oh I am reading and researching for this message or this small group discussion. Or I am reading these books that make me a better leader and they have Bible principles in them. The challenge was a somewhat familiar one - read through the Gospels like you have never read them before. Fresh eyes, new questions, brand new insights. Easier said than done, but I decided after all that I have been through lately I needed it. So this was my challenge and I can honestly say it has been amazing. The thing that has struck me the most is that when you are dry spiritually for a long time, it's hard to quantify how dry you are until you start to get filled again. I was way more dry than I ever imagined. In fact, right now in this moment I had to stop to repent of that again. It is hard for me to admit how low I allowed myself to get. All with good intentions of course - I am working hard, I am doing too much but it is for good causes. I will take time to rest and refresh later. Ironically, I think it is because of my dryness that I was able to really look into the pages of my Bible with new eyes. I have come up with lots of questions. I have noticed things I never noticed before. I have been reminded of a great deal. Like this morning, I read in Matthew about the crowd feedings Jesus did. I never knew that Matthew was not written chronologically. He, being an accountant and probably into seeing things orderly on a page, organized his Gospel into categories. So miracles are with miracles, parables with parables and so on. So as I was reading in Matthew I came across the crowd feedings. Only Matthew and Mark talk about feeding the 5,000 and the 4,000. In Mark, they are separated by a full chapter but in Matthew they are relatively close - at the end of chapter 14 and chapter 15 - in fact, they are on the same page in my Bible. More importantly than my discovery on the organizational pattern of the Gospels was how it struck me, in Matthew right after seeing Jesus feed the 5,000, the disciples can't believe He could turn around and feed 1,000 less people. Of course that is not the accurate count of total people as they only counted dudes, but if I read Matthew and think it's chronological, I can kind of write it off as the disciples were just really dense individuals. When I consider that these events may have been separated by a more considerable time than it takes me to read down the page, it takes on new perspective. Especially when I think about my own experiences. I have seen God do some pretty miraculous things, yet somehow when the challenges of life rise up, I shrink back and become anxious. How can I possible get through this? Specifically, the financial challenge monster raised his ugly head in my house again recently. How will we pay the bills? Where will we find provision? I know when I start to eye the convenience stores on the way to work to figure out which one would be the the lucky place to buy my lottery tickets, I am getting desperate. I loose sleep and my thoughts become dominated by monetary pressures. Yet like the Disciples, I have seen much greater things than this. And like the Disciples my first reaction is to look at how little I have in my hands at that moment. God says it is exactly how little you have that will show how great I am. So this morning as I was rejoicing about God coming through again for me, I read that story. I realized how I am at least as dense as the Disciples (not that they are bad company to be in mind you). God has come through and no I didn't win the lottery. Never did buy my tickets, although that one 7-11 was looking pretty lucky. God came through in an unexpected way and proved how great He is.
I am enjoying the challenge right now. I am sure my resolve will be tested but it has been great to start down the road to replenishing my spirit. I can tell in my interactions with people and in my opportunities to minister that things are flowing out of me that weren't there before. I find myself seeking out those opportunities rather than shrinking back from them.
So what is your old challenge waiting for you to take another shot at?
No comments:
Post a Comment