Day 10

I sit here nearly speechless. Luckily it is only nearly because this would be a boring blog entry. Seriously though, even as I type this, I had to stop and pray. To praise God. Last night I spoke at the opening night of a tent crusade in the Santismo/Santa Ana buaranguy's. Originally, I had been asked to speak at the Friday night one, but it looked like our team schedule jived with Thursday night better. Unfortunately the decision on whether or not I was going to speak got made fairly late. In fact I went there Thursday night not knowing whether or not I was going to speak. Upon arrival, it was confirmed I would speak, but there was no interpreter available. This started a chain of events that led to me trying to rely on my own strength, and as always I stumbled. Since this opportunity was one of the things I was personally looking forward to on the trip, I got pretty discouraged. I had a pretty good Tim-bashing session last night. So I awoke this morning still feeling a little down. Debbie arranged for everyone on the team to have letters from home that we could open along the way. Thank you Debbie! I can honestly say I don't think I would have made it through the trip without them. I am at least glad I didn't have to try. Anyway, my friend Nick, who is one of the ones I turn to at home when I need support, is one of the ones that wrote me a letter. In typical Nick fashion he had to go above and beyond. So he wrote not 1, but 5 letters - to be opened in sequence at various points along the trip. I am a little behind and so today I opened the 3rd one. It closed with this:

God shows up often in times when I feel inadequate or
when I think I'm doing "it" all wrong. I pray that you
can see God clearly on this trip and maybe even in a moment
when you may feel inadequate in some way - maybe you'll
scream and laugh!

This was incredible timely, since I felt I had done "it" all wrong the night before. I did laugh - I didn't scream since my roommates were still sleeping. It encouraged me and I vowed to allow God to be my strength and stop beating myself up. Breakfast was bowls of cereal which I took as a sign of God's blessing upon my newly made decision.

We traveled to the Alaban mall, which is on the outskirts of Manila, with the FTC kids to go ice skating. The ice skating was fun and the kids had a ball. It was 100 pesos per kid. Roughly $2.50. The thing that struck me was that this mall was nice. Like really nice. Like Fox Valley/Westridge whatever Mall sucks compared to this mall. And I did some comparative shopping and the prices on merchandise was pretty similar to home. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around how a country with such extreme poverty can have these pockets of wealth. The resources to correct a lot of their impoverishedness exist internally. Here is how I finally came to terms with it. There are many nations and areas of extreme poverty in the World. This is not new information. Certainly America and Americans have way more than they need. This too is not new information. A lot of the impoverished areas need aid and financial assistance. The Philippines are apart of that category to a certain extent. But what they, the Philippines, need is a change of heart. They need the hope of Jesus Christ to see that life is more than being in whatever class of society you are born into with no way out, or no responsibility to anyone else. This country needs a change of heart. That's why what Frontline is doing is so important. They are working to meet the needs with outside support, but more than that they are trying to change hearts. To show people a different way of living. I think they are just crazy enough to change this country - 1 baranguay at a time. I am renewed in my conviction that working to establish churches and small groups is how they are doing it. The resources needed to change a nation are substantial, but as I walked around the mall today I see the need for the change is even greater. I am so blessed to have been here and seen the work they are doing - it is such an inspiration and encouragement.

So God is pretty cool. I know this because this afternoon I received an invitation to come back to the tent crusade. I was convinced after last night that not only would I not get invited back, I was going to be kicked out of the sweet A/C room I am in. "Um yeah Tim, we reserve that room for real pastors." Ok, slight exaggeration but needless to say I was surprised. We fit it into the schedule while the rest of the team went to the youth service at the Blue Box. It was movie night and the absence of popcorn was a deal breaker anyway. This time I prayed like no other. I asked God to impact every person there in some way. I asked him to use me as a vessel and I cleared my mind and my heart. I confessed that my strength was gone. I was tired, hungry, and hot. I had a grungy t-shirt on and hadn't shaved in nearly a week. It was hardly Tim Raad at his finest. But God was at His and after some amazing music by the Frontline Band, I got up and with the help of Pastor Romeo delivered the message I had intended to last night. It was a blast! God was definitely there in a powerful way and after Pastor Romeo's alter call and prayer, 40 people came forward. Most of them were young people. My message was on hope and it was as much for me as anyone. Jesus is our hope. Nothing else comes close. It was so exciting to be apart of. For whatever small part I played, it was all God. He moved and all I did was act when He said to act. I got to pray over the group of 40 at the end and I really believe that God is changing this country. I believe He is going to use Frontline to do it. I believe He is going to provide the resources to do it. I believe that I am honored to have been apart of this work. If you are looking for hope - you need look no further than Jesus. If you are looking for where God is working - well it's everywhere but 1 place for sure is here and if you are looking for someplace to invest in the kingdom of God - I think there are some people here that would like to talk to you.

Tonight I go to sleep with the peace and hope and joy that 40 more people have joined the Kingdom of God and become part of the Frontline family. I think I shall rest well.

Goodnight