triple hot dog dare

I don't consider myself a hardcore conspiracy theorist but I do enjoy the occasional milder, gentler conspiracy. One of the ones I have developed involves the fact that much of the entertainment industry products are produced based on a dare. For instance I recently went and saw the movie Wanted. It is grotesquely violent so I am not promoting your viewership, merely using it as an illustration in an attempt to justify and therefore redeem my viewership of it. The premise of the movie is that a group of assassins use the variance of stitching from this loom to determine who fate has pre-selected for elimination. Really? A killer loom? Stitches in fabric that determine who lives or dies? You cannot tell me that a plot like that did not develop from a conversation that went something like this -
Writer 1: I bet you can't make an action movie about a loom.
Writer 2: I could if I wanted but that's lame so I don't.
Writer 1: I dare you.
Writer 2: I shall call it Wanted and cast Angelina Jolie.

I also consider most country western music to be conceived by this method as well.
Country Music writer 1: I bet you can't make a song about the color of a tractor.
Country Music writer 2: I could if I wanted but that's lame so I don't.
Country Music writer 1: I dare you.
Country Music writer 2: I know this guy named Joe Diffe and I like John Deere's a lot .....

You see my point. There is a point where creativity and fresh ideas give way to good old fashion dares. I suspect this is how it works for guys at least since we will take a dare for just about anything. Girls are more girlie and might not take every dare.

I will not cover the etiquette of the dare system and how it escalates from dare to the coveted triple dog dare. That was covered most thoroughly including illustration in the greatest holiday movie ever made "A Christmas Story". The reason I bring dares in the hollowed space that is my blog is because possible my creative excellence has been adversely affected and tainted by the dare process. I most recently blogged about my loving wife and although the words were mine and totally genuine I must confess I was dared to write about her. Yesterday I was discussing with my mother all of life's little pleasures and I overheard my father telling someone else about one of my favorite growing up stories. My mom then proceeded to dare me to blog about it. I believe it was a sarcastic reference but none the less the gauntlet had been dropped.

So I don't remember the specific circumstances surrounding it but suffice to say that on several occasions growing up I would with great expectation and indeed anticipation open my lunch box at school to find a peanut butter and jelly sandwich but instead of the normal slices of bread bookending my little piece of heaven there would be a hot dog bun. Yes a hot dog bun. At first I was a little put off by this unusual culinary combination but upon questioning my mother she, the woman sworn to protect and love me, informed me it was a "special treat". It was her special way of breaking up the monotony that is elementary school lunch. A symbol of her love and sincere concern for my lunch time experience. With this warm blanket of her love draped around me I proudly proclaimed to my lunch time companions the next time I received this truly unique, one of a kind testament to my mothers love that I had a "special treat."

The innocence of youth lingered well into my single years. One day when struck with a powerful hunger combined with a homesickness I went to my barren kitchen and longed for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But alas I had no bread but there in the deep recesses of the freezer I found them - hot dog buns. My memory stirred and I returned to a time long ago where I had received a "special treat." And now I could recreate this special treat for myself. However as I pondered further the developing situation in front of me a sickening revelation formed in my hunger clouded mind. It had not been a "special treat" just for me. Mom had merely been out of bread. Innocence was lost that day.

Yesterday my mom not only dared me to blog but then she bragged that it had taken me over 10 years to discover her deception. She was proud of what she had done and how long it had lasted. It leads me to wonder what other frauds she perpetrated on me, what other conspiracies did I suffer? I may never know. But Mom I still love you and in the ultimate twist of fate I know have 2 kids and I am carrying on the proud tradition of deceiving them. Nothing major mind you but you know what - it's kind of fun. Maybe it was a dare that got my mom started. It went something like this.
Mom 1: I bet you can't convince your kid that hot dog bun peanut butter and jelly is a treat.
Mom 2: Oh I can - he's not that bright.